Wednesday, April 30, 2014


Last week was the last week of Bible study at my church for the summer.  I was sad to see it end, I love the studies and I love the other women in the group.  They are all so nice and encouraging. I felt enveloped by angels, and rather spoiled!

At the end of the evening, a lovely lady I knew came up to me and gave me this simple vase of flowers.  She is the one woman outside of my family that emails me every week responding to my latest postings on my blog.  Her words are always so encouraging that I look forward to these simple gifts of love every week.

When she gave me this bouquet, my heart broke for a moment, and this little Miss Independent felt this gift bestowed upon her soul.  

I have always been this way, as long as I can remember.  I have always felt I didn't need anybody, I can do it myself.  I know I have frustrated many a loved one with this attitude, but there it is.  

I don't know why I have this.  Maybe because as a little girl in a small town school feeling very much alone, I had to cope, alone, with the bullying.  The teachers never stopped it, they never punished those who hurt me.

And now as a single adult, my Amazonian attitude continues to be my mantra.  It is not a good thing.  

But this encouragement, out of the blue, ministered to me.  And I am reminded of what relationship is.  Believing in one another, supporting one another, reminding one another that you are on their side.  It is the elixir for our souls, the balm that soothes the aches and pains.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Disneyworld #2

Then Mom and I went to Hollywood Studios.  We ate at the Brown Derby, which is a famous restaurant in Hollywood where famous came to see and be seen in the golden age of pictures.

We also saw an Indiana Jones stunt show, the Great Movie ride, and a studio backlot tour.  Mom and I love old movies, and I love to learn how they are made.

On the last day we went to Animal Kingdom.  The Tree of Life is in the center of the park and it has numerous animals carved into its trunk.

Finally, we went on an African Safari.  I have always wanted to go on a real safari but since I can't tolerate the heat and am afraid of poisonous bugs, this is the next best thing!  We saw lots of animals including giraffes, zebras, elephants and rhinos.

Disneyworld #1

My family and I decided to go for broke and visit this crazy resort for our spring fling.  It was my mom, Pat, my sister, Lisa, her daughter, Emily, and me.  Disney was super hot and crowded.  I guess the best time to visit was in the winter, not spring!  I never thought it would be that hot already, and so crowded with screaming kids.  Nevertheless, we had fun and we survived the onslaught of tourists.

This little princess photo bombed our picture!
Tired of grandma hauling out the camera all the time!

Epcot was our favorite place, especially the World Showcase.  Here you can go around the world in one day without ever having to fly over the ocean!  I bought souvenirs in England, ate ice cream in France, and pizza in Italy!

Phone booth from England.  Can you hear me now?
Stave church and tired tourists from Norway.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Church of the Open Door

I love my church. I love the music and the sermons.  The music is lively, and the sermons are meaningful.  I can't say enough great things about my church.  I have been there for 20 years!  I also love the women's Bible study: Common Ground.  They are such a great group of women who are so loving and welcoming.  I feel surrounded by angels. 

I love that I don't have to close my eyes and bow my head when we pray.  I could never bow due to my short and stiff neck.  And I like to keep my eyes open so I can lip-read the speaker.  Why do people speak quieter when they pray? 

Anyways, in case you are interested, their website is  There you can listen to recent sermons. If you want to listen to older sermons, you can go to iTunes and listen on your computer or Apple product.

KTIS 98.5 FM has similar music.  I like to listen to this station.  It is amazing how music can change your attitude.  If you are not in the Twin Cities area, you can listen online at 

Both these things have helped me so much over the years.  They are not perfect, nothing on earth is.  But they help me remember what matters, bring me joy and peace.  They remind of the truths of God's Word, they fill me with God's grace.  It is so nice to find a church that is not legalistic or dead.  That is not full of crazy people that make you feel guilty all the time.  And the music, most of it on KTIS, is modern and not old-fashioned.  It is not a bunch of funeral dirges or sopranos singing with a trill. 

It makes me thankful that I live in a country where I can worship God, have access to His word, have free access to music in the media and the internet.  I am not persecuted here.  But in the Middle East and in communist countries, they are.   I have no idea what they are going through.  But I do pray and give to them.  Lately I forgot how blessed I am to be born here.  I wish I never forgot. 

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Walking with Tension

A while back the author of this book spoke at my church.  She talked about having cerebral palsy.  I woke up when I heard that phrase and paid attention.  I wept like a baby when I heard her talk about how her life was in the past, so much like mine. 

Now I just finished her memoir, and again, I wept reading about how she was bullied like a child, like me.  How she had few friends, like me.  How she never dated, like me.  How she finally came to acceptance, like me. 

I am in the process of writing my own memoir, and her story resonated so much with me.  Her honesty was refreshing, and I so appreciated her courage to tell her story.

I want to tell my story too.  I want my story to help others, like hers has helped me.  I highly recommend this book, which you can get on amazon. 

I hope her story can help so many others, like she has helped me. 

Wednesday, April 9, 2014


"We know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who have been called according to His purpose." Rom. 8:28

The last Bible study we started to memorize this verse, using actions again.  I had two weeks to memorize this, since there was no study last week (snow, what a surprise!) which helped. 

I struggle with verses like this at times because I tend to be a negative Nellie like my dad instead of a Positive Polly like my mom and sister.  I have been doubting lately as although I was at Disney World last week with my family, the crowds, the heat, lack of sleep and healthy foods, and being around people 24/7 stressed me out.  It reminded me of my thorn in my side, my mental illnesses.  I am in "remission" most of the time, but when I am not able to stick to my routines, I get stressed out. 

In the last 10 years I have not held a job.  I tried a couple but they didn't last due to my stressing out.  I felt like a miserable failure.  A big, fat, loser.  I expect myself to be like everyone else and do the same things like everyone else, but sometimes that is not possible.  For physical reasons that is fine, I can legitimize them.  But for mental reasons, I feel like my mental illnesses are a moral failure. 

This is especially pressing on me at this time when I am also taking a class about writing my memoir.  My instructor kept telling me I need an antagonist.  I couldn't find one, at least a mortal one!  But then it dawned in me, I am my antagonist.  I am my own worst enemy. 

But then God revealed something to me today.  The last 10 years my cat Chocolate has had health problem after health problem.  I was reminded of what great needs he has when I was gone last week.  I had a vet tech come twice a day to feed him and clean his boxes.  Normally I feed him four times a day, a small amount.  Otherwise he eats it all, pukes, and eats it again, making a mess and generally making him miserable.  I realized that with a job I couldn't do this.  I would be coming home each day facing a big mess to clean up, and a cat in miserable pain.

When I realized this I smiled, tears in my eyes, as I gazed lovingly upon my baby.  He was curled up in a bed in the sun, his fur glistening.  I smiled knowing that God loves him even more than I do, and He loves that I take care of Him.  He has provided for me the time to do so. 

I remember again that God is good.