Tuesday, March 18, 2014
"Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in despair of them, for the Lord your God is with you. He will never leave you or forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6.
I am in a Bible study at my church called Common Ground for women. We are presently using James Macdonald's study, "Always True," and this is the memorization verse for this week. I usually don't bother memorizing verses as I can't remember things anyway, but the leader taught us to use physical actions to help us remember, and it worked! I am pretty pleased with myself, as I even typed this without cheating!
I started this post with this verse as fear is the biggest stronghold I have in my life. As a child I was fearful of many things. Some normal, like death and bugs. But also some not so typical, like riding a bike or skating. Even my "normal" fears were extreme. I thought if I couldn't hear or see, I was dead. I screamed hysterically whenever I saw a bug. Just to let you know I no longer have these fears!
But I still have other fears. One is about my cat. I fear that I won't be able to make wise decisions when the time comes to do so. Another fear is about my writing. I fear I will suck at my efforts and no one outside my devoted family will read them.
But I will press on. Why? I have to in regards to my pet. He trusts in me to take care of him. I am responsible for him. I need to in regards to my writing. I need to use what God has given me to encourage and inspire others. I need my life to have meaning. I need to have what struggles I have gone through to have purpose.
So when I think of these things, I try to remember that God is with me. He sees me and hears me. I am not alone. He will never leave me or give up on me.
Why do I believe this? There are multiple reasons. But even if there weren't, what alternative is there? I can't do life alone. No one can. One might think one can. I used to. But now I know better.
"God’s perfect love takes away fear." I John 4:18
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
A blog from Steve Weins http://www.stevewiens.com/ reminded me of how when I am afraid sometimes I just have to push through and do it. Teaching ESL comes easy for me. Being with the animals at the humane society comes easy for me. But when it comes to my own elderly cat, sometimes I am clueless. I wish we could have a common language where he could tell me what is wrong and I can tell him I will take care of him.
Writing is another thing. Whenever I sit down in my chair in front of my computer my stomach does a little dance. It is not a happy dance. And I pray, "Jehovah Jireh, give me wisdom." One minute I think I know what I am doing and the next I am thinking, "am I crazy?" It would be so easy for me to quit. But I have told too many about my story and my memoir, partly because I know this propensity I have to quit when the going gets tough. But in my heart, I don't want to. Like Steve's son being afraid to go to school, I must just do it.