Advent is the season for waiting. I have been waiting these days. Waiting to see if I get any response from an agent or a publisher. Waiting for the day I will finally be emotionally ready to foster or adopt a pet. These are minimal though compared to what the world is waiting for.
This past Sunday I watched "60 Minutes" with my family. They had a segment about Syrians making a documentary about the civil war going on there. They displayed videos of animals suffering and dead children. I started so sob as I sat there, not being able to control the emotions that flowed through me. I don't know if I am just more sensitive these days because of Chocolate's death. But I cry so easily, especially when I see or hear of children and animals suffering in any way. They are so vulnerable and helpless. They depend on us to protect them and keep them safe. I felt so vulnerable and helpless myself. It was hard for me to separate myself from them, and it left me shaken for the rest of the night.
I said to my mom how hard it is to live with so much evil. It made me sick, and broke my heart. I felt such despair for the victims. At that time I forgot who is in control.
Longfellow wrote "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" during the Civil War. When I read the lyrics tonight, it was just the right song that conveyed what I wanted to say.