Tuesday, February 4, 2014

What I am Thinking About

I am thinking about a young woman who is depressed and feeling hopeless.

I am thinking about a young man who is being threatened because he is gay.

I am thinking of a man my age who seemingly has everything yet doomed to destruction due to an addiction.

I am thinking about a father who watched his son suffer from a mental illness.

Maybe it is because I am in the throes of my period but all these things, and more, make me sad.  They make me cry.  I feel so for these people who live in a world that seems like there is no hope.  Who feel hopeless.  Who feel handicapped by illness, addiction, or bigotry.  I know how this feels.

In the past, I too felt hopeless.  Life was hell and I wanted no part of it.  I was angry at God, at the world, at everyone.  I felt like they owed me.

Living with depression is a black hole that you can't get out of.  It is wanting to hide in bed with the covers up, over my face, and waiting for the hell to end. 

But it doesn't.  Not that way.

It ends through time.  It ends through effort.  I had to choose to change.  I had to go to counseling, support groups, therapy groups, read self-help books, experiment with different medications, the list goes on.

I had to pray and be honest with God.  I had to read the Bible, go to church, go to Bible study.

I had to keep going.  I had to get out of bed each morning and face each new day, even if I gave up the day before, I had to start again.

I had to dissuade myself the notion that I would never get depressed again.  Like an addict who can never say they will never abuse drugs, I could not hope I would never get depressed again.

God is my only hope.

Sure, there are things on this earth that help us, like family and friends.  And I am so thankful I have both.

But sometimes that is not enough.  No one person can fill that void that is within each of us, for all disappoint.  I know I have.

But God never disappoints.

God overcame the world.  Nothing can separate me from His love.  Not anything of me, or anyone else, can take me away from Him. 

That is what I hope in. 

So for those out there suffering, like the ones I wrote about:

Don't give up!
Life is worth living!

Get out of bed.  Get dressed.  Get the paper.  Do one thing at a time, one day at a time.

Make the choice.  You are more than what you look like, what you do, where you come from, and where you are going.

You are a precious gift from God. 

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