Writer's Block

Yes, I am suffering writer's block.  I am hoping my online writing workshops will inspire  me because I have no ideas.  Not only that, it still hurts to type.  I used to be quite inspired and wrote a lot.  Now my mind is a blank.  I am not sure why this is happening, but it is frustrating.

Maybe before I wrote more because that's all I did.  But now I have a  job.  And I want to keep working, I like my career.  Sometimes though I wish I had more hours.  I get nervous when I have free time, and I have a lot of it now, of which I am trying to fill up.  But then again, if I work more I won't be able to take art classes or do Bible study.  And I worry that I will be anxious again.  So there is that.

Another reason is I wonder if my anti-anxiety meds cause me to lose inspiration.  But I need to take these meds as they keep me employed and help me sleep.  So there is that.

Who knows.  I know I don't have control over how many hours I have to work.  And I don't seem to have control over my inspiration.   It's either there or it isn't.  But I have to keep telling myself that a lot of people would love to not have to work full-time, and that I am thankful I don't have to.  Nor do I have to depend on social security, which I know it is not enough to live on.  

I am also thankful for my home, another blessing from my parents, and my cat, Bella.  It is so nice to come home to her and she is always happy to have me at home.  She sleeps with me every night, which is always comforting to me.  So I have the 3 things I once asked for and lost, and now regained.  Although I had never lost my home, I lost my job and my cat, and it took me too long to get back to a place where I could have these things again.  But then again I have to remind myself that I have it good compared to most people.  I don't know of anyone without problems, or wishing things were different.   Why is it so hard to be thankful?  Is it because I have a pessimistic bent?  I hate being that way but that is what I am, along with all the other.  Which seems to be a repellent to men.  Which is a topic for another day.  

Another Update

Again, another update about my work situation. I am back to teaching Tues. and Thurs., and there is a another teacher working Mon. and Wed.  I am tired of this off and on so I hope she sticks around for a while.  I have been making up hours that I missed at my art class by going twice a week  I have missed that.  It is so relaxing for me.  I also decided to volunteer for the Animal Humane Society, in cat adoption in Coon Rapids, what I used to do before Chocolate died.  I look forward to doing that, I have missed being with cats, and I hope I can help them there.  I am looking for a Bible study, but not have had much luck there.  I am also going to take some writing workshops online through a Christian writers group.  

It has been about a year since I adopted Bella, my cat, and that has been sweet.  The only thing she does that bugs me is she meows a lot.  Otherwise, she has been a perfect cat.  I could't have asked for a better one.  She sleeps with me every night which always makes me happy.  I love coming home to her.  People confuse me and baffle me, but animals no. I wish I could get a job helping them.  I love animals.  

I got a cortisone shot for my arm Mon. and have yet felt relief.  I hope it helps, I have had this problem for too long and it tires me out all the time.  

But I look forward to next week and Thanksgiving.  I look forward to putting up my Christmas tree.  I love the season of Christmas, it cheers me.  

Update

Six weeks ago I was diagnosed with radial tunnel syndrome.  I have had PT for the last 6 weeks, and it was great, no pain!  Until we started doing strengthening exercises.  Then the pain came back.  We are quitting that for now and doing PT as done before.  So I hope the pain goes away again.  That was nice.

 I am also teaching again four nights a week.  I was unable to go back to my art class, which I was bummed out about as I loved it.  But at least I know now how to draw and paint and with the supplies I had to buy for the art class, I am able to do it at home.  I quit my Bible study.  Half the time there was nobody there.  So I don't miss that.  Although I was looking forward to the new women's group at my old church.  But, oh well.  I just keep praying that God knows best.  

Bella, my cat, is doing great.  She sleeps with me every night, and it is nice to come home and she is there.  I didn't realize how much I missed having a pet.  They are a source of great comfort, and she makes me laugh.  She is so sweet, she just wants to be loved.  Rescue pets are the best!

First Painting

This is my first watercolor I did art the Art Academy.  I first drew then inked the picture, then I used watercolors to paint it.  We only used the primary colors and black.  I guess the other colors in the paint box don't reflect the other colors perfectly, so we had to learn to mix colors to get the desired effect.  That was the hardest part.  You look at the color, brightness, and other factors when you are mixing your colors.  But I still enjoyed it and look forward to coming back after their too long break!  I still don't want to leave the class, I so enjoy it.  And I still find it relaxing.  

Minnie

My parent's beloved dog, Minnie, passed away last Thursday.  She was very sick and not getting better, so they decided to peacefully end her suffering.  Although I don't live with my parents, I loved Minnie as if she was my own.  She helped me when I lost Chocolate, and when I was recovering from my dislocated shoulder.  She helped all of us when my dad dislocated his hip.  She protected my mom and I from strange animals and hyper dogs.  She protected her doggy friend from an aggressive dog.  She was always taking care of us. I guess she got worn out worrying about us.

She was always happy to see me, which made me smile.  Dogs don't care what you look like or what you do for a living.  They just want to be loved.  And that's all Minnie wanted too.  She didn't play with toys or chew on bones.  She just wanted to be loved.  I could spend all day scratching her and petting her and that wouldn't be enough.  She just wanted to be with us, no matter what we were doing or where we were.

Now going to my parent's house is very quiet, and I miss her presence.  She loved to lay on the couch with us, or sit in our laps.  She loved to race with the cart as we drove it around the property.  She just loved life, she was so happy and energetic.  

But she got old, like we all do.  I want her back but not as in the end, but when she was happy and smiling her doggy smile.  It always seems too soon when we have to say good-bye.  We are never prepared enough.

Minnie was a rescue dog, and the best dog.  Rescue pets seem to know they have been given a second chance.  So I'll end this with a plug to adopt, don't shop.  There are too many wonderful pets out there who just want a second chance.  

History Matters

I went to this museum this past weekend as they had two new exhibits I had not seen.  This is a great museum for all ages, for it is hands-on, and makes history come alive.  It is not just about MN, but how history affected and is affected by MN.  They also have two great stores with lots of fun gifts, and a cafe with the best chicken wild rice soup.  I highly recommend this museum, along with all the other MN Historical Society sites throughout MN.  I haven't been to them all but the ones I have been to have been very interesting and relateable.  I like their motto, History Matters, because it does.  The older I get the more nostalgic I get,  and it is meaningful to see and experience the things I knew as a child.  History is part of our makeup, it is part of our story.

Steam

I just saw a fabulous show this past weekend that my niece, Emily is in.  She is on this poster, the lower left corner.  She plays the leader of the aliens and the leader of the Morlocks (looks like a post-apocalyptic biker gang).  She was in most of the scenes, and did most of the acts.  I was and am amazed at her talent and her energy!

Emily has been performing here for about 10 years, and does everything except clowning (I hate clowns!).  My favorite act in the show is the wheel of steel, which is terribly dangerous but I can see why she loves to do it. 

She wants to go professional someday, and I hope that she does.  I know she has the talent for it.  She has worked so hard and suffered through so many injuries, yet she doesn't give up.  She is a tough person, not one to mess with!

I am so proud of her, and I hope she knows how much I love her.  We are not a demonstrative family, and I know that even though Emily and are so similar in some ways, in other ways we are very different.  But I still love her and am amazed by her.