Finally...

My dad is OK!  He came home last weekend, after a week in the hospital and a week in a nursing home.  He had hip replacement surgery, and 3 days after the CNA gave him a shower, of which she left him alone while she talked on her phone outside the bathroom.  Consequently, he fell.  But he is OK, aside from some bumps and bruises.  We think he fainted as he literally slid down the wall of the shower.  Unbeknownst to all of us, he was low on blood.  I can't imagine that no one knew this.  He had to spend 2 extra days in the hospital for tests and transfusion.  This hospital was not the best.  The light in the bathroom didn't work.  He did not get his pain meds when he was supposed to.  His call nurse pager didn't work.  His injury back in May was so complicated that the only doctors who treated this type of injury practiced at this hospital, the only place, besides the U of MN, that takes patients without insurance.  The moral of the story, if you don't need to be at HCMC, don't go there!  

But he is home now, Minnie the dog is happy to have her master back, and we are all relieved.  Thank you all for your prayers and well wishes.  There were a lot of cards and gifts. There was lots of help from the men in our lives.  It is all greatly appreciated, and we are so very thankful.  Thank you for being faithful friends, faithful prayer warriors.  Most of all I give the glory to God, for He watched over my dad and brought him home!

Don't Wait

I don't know why I love this song.  I've never seen the movies, neither do I like rap.  But when I heard it I cried.  I knew one of the actors had died from a tragic car accident.  He had a child, a family, lots of friends, a great career, and charities that he supported.  It seemed like he lead a full life and died when he was too young.  Living life large, it became too much.  

I guess I post this as I did on facebook a few days ago, thinking of the people I love, those I have loved and lost, my pets and grandparents.  My own parents, who are getting older.  My college friends that I haven't seen for years, but now have reconnected on facebook.

I guess I am more emotional as I am finishing my period, my dad is having his surgery next week, and my arm and hand have been pain-free for the last few days!  That last event brings tears of joy and relief.

But with my dad and my own injuries, I think it just brought me back to what matters.  That is the people and pets in my life.  They won't always be around.  I hope they know much I love them, how much they made a difference in my life, how much I wouldn't be  here without them.  

So I encourage you to do this too.  Remember the people and pets in your life.  Tell them that you love them.  Tell them how they made a difference in your life.  Tell them you wouldn't be here without them.  Don't wait.

Upheaval

I painted this picture of Chocolate last week at Cheers Pablo.  At first I was so bummed out by it because I thought Chocolate looked more like a raccoon.  But as the days wear on and I see it hanging in my bathroom, it is growing on me and I am able to see Chocolate in it.  He did look like he had eyeliner on in real life.  So I am glad I did it.

I still miss him.  Sometimes when I come home I forget he's not going to be there to greet me at the door.  It'll be a year this Sunday.  Because I have been having such a hard time letting go, I am going to go to the pet support group coming Monday.  I didn't for so long as I already volunteer teaching ESL Monday nights, but I realized I needed to do this for me.

I also joined a Bible study group at my church, and am loving it!  So glad to be back among fellow Bible bangers (ha-ha).  But really it is about experiencing the love of God through His people.  Which is what I sorely need right now.

As usual, I have been hard on myself.  I expect the best and when I can't deliver, for whatever reason, I feel like such a failure, or a loser.  Last week I got a cortisone shot in my elbow, as my arm and hand are still sore after 5 months, and PT didn't help.  The shot didn't help either.  In fact, I couldn't sleep and my anxiety went through the roof.  I dropped one of my ASD/ESL classes that I was taking online because I was freaking out.

But now that the side effects have worn off, I am glad I dropped it.  I got my money back, and it won't go on my record.  In taking the two classes I wouldn't have had time for anything else.  And the pain was killing me.  The pain is worst when I am typing.  So I dropped it and decided to take care of myself.

In  about 10 days my dad will have his hip replacement surgery.  He is in a lot of pain and needs to just get it done.  I hate to see my parents grow old.  I worry about them.  I know they worry about me.
It never seems to end, does it?  But I guess that's what love is, worrying about the people you love.  I know some people think it's bad to worry, but some of us just can't seem to help it.  I come from a long line of worriers!

My setback actually was a blessing in disguise.  I think God was trying to get my attention, and it seems to have to take a major upheaval, not a soft whisper, for me.  I was mad at God for a while. I think all that happened this summer, with my dad and me and our injuries, I was mad, stupidly.  But when I got that cortisone shot, it seemed to have jolted me out of my funk.  I just gave up fighting.  I seem to fight God a lot, like Jacob.  But eventually, so far, I stop and life goes on.

My Parents

A few weeks ago was my parents' 55th anniversary.  It was more poignant this summer as my dad had fallen and crushed his pelvis, and my mom had to help him at the nursing home, caring for him and yelling at the incompetent employees.  Now my dad is home but still using a walker and in pain.  He will have hip replacement surgery next month, and my mom will have to care for him again and yell at incompetence run amok.  Even so, when the anniversary came near, my dad always remembers, so he asked me to get her a card and flowers, specifying what kind. This is what he gets for her every year: a beautiful bought of a dozen red roses, and the biggest, fanciest card he can find at Hallmark.

Theirs is a marriage that started out tumultuously.  They were young and didn't have a home of their own.  They lived with his parents until dad came to the cities to get a better job.  After that, he sent for my mom, who came on the bus, and then they went to live with his aunt.  My mom learned how to drive and they worked hard until they had enough to buy a trailer house.  

From there, they kept working hard until my dad decided my mom should stay home with the baby (my sister), after when she came home and saw the sitter feeding her with cold Spaghettios from a can. I can just see the horror in my parent's faces.  My dad determined to provide for the family and so he did, while my mom did the paperwork for the business that he co-owned.

My dad got my mom's teeth fixed, my mom helped him improve his limited reading skills.  They were in it for the long haul, even though my mom didn't know how to cook at first.  One time when my dad was sick she had to drive him to the hospital, even though she didn't know how.   At another time my dad shattered his neck and was in the hospital, and my mom cared for him and yelled at the staff.

My dad taught my mom to speak up, she was so shy at first.  Now she has no problem!  She can mix it up with the toughest New Yorker!  They enjoy watching PBS, playing cards, and just being in each other's company.  Nothing could ever tear them apart.  But in each trial, they put their hands to the plow and determined that they were going to get through it.  And they did.

My dad likes to talk about how he first saw my mom as a teen, playing baseball with the neighborhood kids.  He said to his friends that was the woman he was going to marry, even though they had never met.  My mom was a tough nut to crack, as she had 5 brothers that were enough trouble.  But he persisted, and she gave in.  

I am amazed by their marriage, especially after this summer.  You don't see too many marriages like theirs.  Even though they have been married a long time, they still love each other, and are partners that seem to complete each other.  They epitomize the vows that are said in the wedding: for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.  

I never doubted their love.  I was lucky to rest in the knowledge and belief that they would never divorce or give up on each other.  Yes, that is rare these days.  But I am sure glad I have been witness to that.  Thanks Mom and Dad.

MN State Fair

Ever since I was little, my family and I went to the MN State Fair, every year.  We literally got up at the crack of dawn and drove, parking at first beyond Machinery Hill, later by the Coliseum.  And we stayed all day into the night, taking a break in the middle to enjoy a horse show.  Finally, we walked up that hill that seemed to last forever to our car, either beyond the farm machines, or up and over the bridge beyond the animal barns.

I loved the smells, that even I could smell, even the smell of smoke from cigarettes, as it reminded me of good times there.  I even loved the smells emanating from the animal barns, the smell of meat grilling, and the smell of pastries frying.

I loved the heat baking on my body, especially in the crowded areas of Heritage Square or Mexican Village.  And I loved to stumble about the dirt and hay trying to see the baby animals in the baby barn.

I was mesmerized by the machines that made the Tom Thumb donuts, or the weird robotic baker that stretched out the salt water taffy, around and around.  I marveled at all the cool new things one could buy in the Grandstand or Coliseum, usually things that once bought, collected dust in the recesses of my closet.

Summer is my favorite season of the year, partly because of the fair.  But it is bittersweet: it is at the end of summer, just before school starts.  And even though I am no longer in grammar school, I still feel depressed and anxious this time of year, knowing the cold will come again and the sun will no longer warm us.

But to get off my woe mobile and back to the memories, my family’s favorite rides and foods were: the Space Tower, carousel, and double Ferris wheel; and  the turkey leg, Indian fry bread, chocolate shake from the cow barn, and Tom Thumb donuts!  Along with these:

Funiculi, funicula!

With milk!

The one and only!

I bruised my tailbone!

9-11 Never Forget

Note: all images are from Google images.

Summer's Over

Summer is my favorite time of year.  It is too short, and my days in the pool are too few.  I crave the warmth and the sun, and I love wearing as little as possible.

This summer my dad shattered his pelvis.  I had a car accident.  My sister's dog died.  My arm and hand are sore.  We missed our annual Duluth trip.  We missed our New York trip.  They stopped having Saturday night services at my church.  I did not get into the Transformation Center group at my church.  There is no more Women's Bible study at my church.

Aside from the miraculous rescue from my car accident, it has been a tumultuous summer.  But, I can look at it all and be thankful I am here and not trying to escape Iraq and Syria.  I don't live in an inner city that is roiling with riots.  I don't live in a poverty-stricken area, or a natural disaster-stricken area.  I have family, my own home, and all I need to live independently.  I have the opportunity for a new career.  I have a trip with my mom to look forward to next year to the South of France on a Vikings river cruise.  

So even though there are many changes that I am not happy about, I can be thankful for what I do have, instead of lamenting about what I don't.  

I do want to send a thank you for all the police officers out there who risk their lives everyday for a thankless population.  I want to thank our soldiers for their sacrifice.  And I thank God I am an American.  Even though things are tough sometimes, we are still the greatest nation on God's green earth due to the Constitution, and to our founding fathers who dreamed of a better time and a better place.  We are the recipients of their dreams, and I hope we will never take it for granted, or allow those dreams to be destroyed.  We owe them that.